My momma's Boy

My little man, my momma's boy. You make me feel so loved, wanted, and needed. You always want to snuggle with me on the couch or give me hugs and kisses just because. You always run around saying, "Go Mom mom!" or "I lub you Mom mom." It melts my heart and puts an instant smile on my face. Whenever you get hurt, you always run straight to me for a hug and ask me to kiss your boo boo. You're my one and only baby boy and I love you more than you'll ever know. 

Thank you for letting me be your mom. 

Outings with my little cuties!

The kids and I spent many days at the park these past few weeks as we enjoyed the last moments of warmth and fall colors.

Then, as winter weather rapidly approached us, we enjoyed a lovely day at the Dinosaur museum.

Some mommy/Brody dancing moments in the living room.

And... many snuggly days at home watching movies, reading books, and of course, Brody tickling his baby sissy and giving her some loves and kisses. They sure do love each other. 

Lucky little Brody bear even enjoyed an entire day with Grandpa. riding in his big truck in his new booster seat, shopping for some tools at Home Depot, and getting slushies from Sonic. This little man is growing up way too fast, I seriously can't believe it. 

Pregnancy Update

25 week pregnancy photo...

25 weeks flew by ridiculously fast and now I'm here at 26. I can't believe I'm 6 1/2 months pregnant because I'm truly still processing the fact that we are having another baby, and especially wrapping my head around it being another beautiful baby girl. Choosing a name has proven to be extremely challenging for us this time and I have done NOTHING to prepare. It's like I woke up this past week and realized, 'Hey I'm pregnant and I only have 3 months left.' It's starting to hit me that I have major things to organize and a lot of little things to buy to actually feel ready for her to come. Since we just had Elle last year, we have many clothes and accessories that will be handed down to this baby, but Brian and I decided to go out the other day and purchase a few outfits for her that would be her very own, including a new outfit to wear home from the hospital. I also recently picked out some baby bedding pictures to help inspire me for the actual bedding I'm planning to make. 

I really hope the reality of this pregnancy sinks in soon so I can fully enjoy the experience as it is most likely our last. I can honestly say that I am so excited to meet her and hold her, but the most difficult part of this pregnancy (aside from all the vomiting and kidney stones) has been the disconnect. None of this seems real yet. I'm learning that it's hard to choose a name and nursery decor for a baby that doesn't feel real or feel like yours, yet. Yet being the key word. I know once she comes, the physical presence of her in my arms will take all that disconnect away and she will without a doubt be REAL and MINE. We are going to be in Heaven and fall deeply in love with her, just as we have with Brody and Elle.  

 I stare at these pictures often in awe that they can take such clear and amazing ultrasound photos now. 

Look how beautiful she is already. 

We love you little one, even if you don't feel real to us just yet. 

A Journal Entry to Cherish Forever...

As I was re-oranizing my closet today, I came across an old journal of mine. So naturally, I sat in my closet and began to flip through the pages. It was a journal I had started just before I reconnected with Brian and only a few pages in, I began to read an entry I had written just one short week after we rekindled a High School friendship that blossomed into so much more. Little did I know, (or want to allow myself to believe) this would be the beginning of our story together. 

Dear Diary,

The past week my life has felt crazy and scary, but so exciting and calm, all at the same time. I'm living in a whirlwind of emotion, trying to piece my crazy life together. Brian Hallock has come into my life again and made an impression on my heart that I will never forget. He is the most spiritual, loving, genuine, and wonderful person I have ever met. I am having such sure feelings that he is the one I have prepared myself for. He is someone great that has come in and blessed my life. He makes me laugh and smile, I am so happy! I feel myself falling more and more everyday and I just can't stop. I've fallen and it feels completely surreal, impossible even. It has only been one week and every fiber of my being is head over heels in love. It's hard to believe that someone as incredible as Brian would have similar feelings about me, but he does. And in my heart, I know that if he isn't "the one", I deserve/want someone that possesses the qualities he holds. There is a feeling that I can't ignore, a feeling that is assuring me this is right where I belong. I know I could be great for him and love him, forever. I am hoping that one day soon this will make sense to us both, but until then, I am walking in faith that Heavenly Father will direct us to where we are supposed to be. Every ounce of me is screaming that he is one of the greatest reasons I went through the temple on my own, the reason I have been preparing myself spiritually, the reason my life with Sterling fell apart. I feel like no matter how hard my journey was to get here, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. Just as I closed one chapter of my life and the wounds began to heal, a new door has opened, and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I feel like I am in an amazing dream but at any moment, I will wake up. I have been floating on cloud 9 for a week! I am scared of getting hurt again, of being left alone, of letting myself be vulnerable, and opening up a door of unknown possibilities. I am scared to lose what we've always had as friends and I'm scared to lose what we are quickly evolving into. To be honest, I am really not sure of anything anymore, except how I feel in this moment, right now. I am in love and scared to death. How can I care for him so much in just one week, when I haven't seen him in over 6 years? How can we feel so sure about wanting to share our life with each other? We know the world around us might think we are completely crazy. How could we blame them for believing what we feel in our hearts when I'm still figuring out me since ending a part of my life as someone else's wife. I know I might be criticized and judged, but lets face it, I am already in the spotlight being judged by those who don't understand the circumstances of my past and can't possibly understand the depth of the mutual feelings Brian and I share now. I want to be certain before we jump into this and allow the world to be part of our journey, but in my heart, I feel like I already know.

For whatever reason, Brian is here in my life again. I know I am beyond blessed and grateful. I will forever treasure these feelings, these moments, and this past week. I would never take back any of this experience, even if I end up hurt and alone, again. This man is worth the leap of faith. So, here I am leaping, and trusting that I will be led to where I am supposed to be. I am putting my faith in the Lord and Brian, that together we will know whether or not this is where we should be.

Love, Ali

Elle's Blessing Day!

I took a long pause from blogging and now I have a lot to catch up on. One of the most special moments we've had that I need to write about is Elle's baby blessing. 

It was such an incredible day for our little family. Brian gave Elle the most beautiful blessing that brought me and many others to tears. We had so many family members and friends come to support us and show their love for our little girl. 

I was so excited for this big day, I went all out and decorated some girly, pink cupcakes and my very first fondant cake, all by myself! (I was pretty impressed with how it turned out!) Since it was really cold outside at the time and our church started at 9:00am, we served delicious breakfast foods that so many people helped make and bring, along with warm hot chocolate. 

It was a beautiful day for a beautiful baby girl. 

Elle turns ONE!

Our little girl turned one on August 13th! How cute is this darling girl??!

I wish I could have gone all out with balloons and banners, but I have been kind of a slacker mom since becoming pregnant again and feeling so miserable. But, for breakfast, we managed to make pink pancakes in honor of our little princess and miss Elle LOVED them! 

Seriously, that smile says it all! :)

Later that night, we had a "Pretty in Pink Princess" party to celebrate this big event and it was fabulous! She was so dainty and lady-like with her cake, too. She would delicately swipe off tiny pieces of cake and frosting and then place it to her lips so gently and calm. She didn't even need her bib to cover up her pretty princess dress! It was the cutest thing in the world. She really is our perfect little angel and I still can't believe she's one! 

Baby Elle's Birth Video

I know it's really, really late--like over a year late. But, I finally put together our sweet baby Elle's birth story video. 

Here is a letter I wrote to Elle the night before she was born...

August 12, 2012

Elle Marie,  

Here I am at home having contractions everyday and awaiting your arrival. I've had my membranes stripped, I've been running, walking, doing jumping jacks-- anything to help these contractions regulate. I am trying so hard to wait patiently for things to progress so we can drive to the hospital and FINALLY meet you! I thought you would be here by now and with every prayer I say, I'm learning that MY timeline is not what's best for us. I am quickly learning that I cannot control this situation and God will move things forward when it's time. However; if you don't come tonight, my doctor has decided to induce me tomorrow! Which means, sometime in the next day, I will get to hold you and see you!! For the first time this pregnancy, things are starting to become a little more real. I am not sure why this pregnancy has been so difficult for me to process, but it hasn't quite sunk in yet that you're actually coming. This pregnancy went by so quickly. It's been such an exciting time for us, imagining you being here with our family. We can't wait to meet you and for our family to be complete. Even though Brody is still really little, I think he's excited to meet you, too! He sits in your nursery in your glider chair and plays for hours. I like to think he's preparing to watch over you when you get here! 

Regardless of the fact that this pregnancy hasn't sunk in, you really are coming and I am so happy that you are. I have loved getting to know you so intimately over the past few months feeling you move and kick and watching my tummy jump as you get the hiccups about 4 times a day! It's adorable! But now I am ready to meet you and start the next chapter in our life as a family. I can't wait to hold you and kiss you. I can't wait to see your darling face. Your brother looks just like daddy, so I am hoping you look a little like me. But, if you also look like your daddy, you will be one lucky girl! I can't wait to see you in daddy's arms and to see you next to Brody. You are one loved little girl you know. 

I've been trying to come up with the right things to say in this letter so one day when you're older and you read this, you'll know what a true blessing you are. We are so grateful that chose us to be your parents. Your dad and I will always, unconditionally love you even when things are hard and even when we disagree. We will always want the very best for you in life. We want you to succeed and be happy, and we want you to excel and have the courage to be your own person; to follow your heart in all that you do. We hope that you and Brody will love each other and protect each other. Most importantly, we hope you will turn to your Heavenly Father for guidance, for comfort, and even in times of happiness and gratitude. We want your life to be filled with the spirit and we hope as your parents, that we teach you the values and principles of the gospel so that you are confident in your testimony and confident in the decisions you make. 

There are so many things I want to tell you, but they wouldn't fit into a letter. So, just know that we love you more than anything and whenever we get to meet you, it will be one of the greatest days in all our life. 

Love, Mom & Dad

Elle Marie Hallock

Born August 13, 2012 at 1:57pm

Gender Reveal!

To start off this post, let me share a photo with you. 

This is the exact moment Brian and I found out the gender of baby #3... 

Brian is so excited! And me, COMPLETELY SHOCKED! Ha ha:)

Since we already have one boy and one girl, it didn't really matter what baby #3 was going to be, right? Either way, we were set and somewhat prepared. 

Well, let me also share with you that before I even got pregnant again, we were 100% sure we were going to have another little boy. I don't know how else to describe it other than it was just a feeling we had that there was a little boy coming to our family. So, when the pregnancy test turned positive, I planned for lots of blue! Every ultrasound we had, I imagined a little boy. I picked out boy names, planned to bring out Brody's old clothes to sift through things I wanted to keep and what we needed to buy for the new baby, I hadn't even allowed myself to contemplate the possibility of this baby being a little girl. 

Now back to the picture, we decided it would be fun to do a gender reveal party to announce the gender this time to friends and family, and even more fun if we didn't know ourselves. (Even though in my head, I was certain it would reveal our little baby boy.) We decided to do a lottery game of sorts. We passed out scratch off tickets and a coin for everyone to use as a scratching tool. Only one person would hold the winning gender reveal ticket. They would scratch off three matching pink babies or three matching blue babies, everyone else had a mix of the two. We asked the person who had the winning ticket to announce the baby's gender. When my friend Cindee revealed she had the winning ticket and said, "It's a GIRL!" I had just received the shock of my life! (As you can recall in the photo above). I was so excited, but I literally couldn't believe it. I had somehow only planned for a boy and here I was, having another beautiful baby girl! Wow! 

At this point, I was sure my mom had placed the wrong card in the lottery game tickets. 

My sweet friend, Alyssa offered to make us a darling gender reveal cake. We decided we should cut into the cake and verify this lottery card business, all the while in my head, I'm thinking, 'the cake is going to be blue'. Well, I was completely wrong, AGAIN!!

Here's the proof that shocked me once again... it was PINK!

Oh my goodness, we are having another little princess!!! We are THRILLED and cannot wait to meet this precious girl. It has just become a little more real that our family is expanding and I get more and more excited as each day passes.