The Best Version of Me.

Do you ever have those days or weeks when you just feel down? You constantly find yourself comparing your life to others. Comparing yourself to your friends or random Facebook/Instagram wives, moms, business owners, etc? You compare their successes and talents to your own and somewhere along the way, you lose little pieces of yourself. You start to feel worthless and wonder what your purpose is in this world. 

My head always seems to turn to the same validation--

These people are just extremely blessed and I got the short end of the stick. I feel like yelling,

"Hey! All you perfect little mommas out there who always looks extra fabulous with your 10,000+ followers on every social media account you own and endless success from your Etsy shop, could you please just give a tiny bit of your talent and success and rub it off on the rest of us?!"

How screwed up is that point of view?! How is it that one minute I am on my knees thanking my Father in Heaven for blessing me with so much and sincerely meaning every word, to logging on my Facebook and instantly forgetting all of that because I see the lack of likes and comments on the photo I posted 5 hours ago, or I see everyone else announcing big news and here I am, just making it through another day. 

I catch myself doing this on occasion, and to be honest, probably more often than I should. I start to forget that I have an incredible husband who loves me with every ounce of his being and three beautiful, healthy children who love me unconditionally. I try so hard to be perfect and to live up to the expectations I think everyone else has set for me. I have tried to make everyone around me happy and proud while putting my own feelings and needs on the back burner. I hate conflict and I hate disappointing or letting others down and I constantly feel like I have to prove myself or make up for my past. I want people to see the best in me, to see the progress I've made, to see my successes and happiness, and to be happy for me. But, I've learned it's just impossible to please everyone and that I've been exhausting myself for all the wrong reasons and all the wrong people. 

I've learned that I can't just lust over what others have. I have to dream my own dreams and work my butt off trying to reach them. I can't just sleep in everyday until my kids wake up and drag my feet throughout the day in clutter and chaos and expect miracles and blessings to fall into my lap. So, I decided to do something about it... 

1- I wake up early every morning and I don't allow myself to push snooze. 

2- I start off my morning with music that I love and an inspiring quote.

3- I tidy up the things I didn't have time for yesterday.

4- I workout. I workout for me. I workout so I can feel physically and mentally healthy. 

5- I eat breakfast in peace, before the chaos of the day begins. 

6- I shower and get ready, also in peace before the chaos begins.

7- I am 100% alert and there for my children the second they open their eyes each morning.

8- I try to set a mini schedule for the day and prepare all our "to-go" bags the night before. Oh, and dinners... the crock pot is my best friend!

9- I SLOW DOWN. I realized that rushing everywhere and being unorganized wasn't doing me any favors. In fact, it was hindering my ability to be a good wife and mom. I was getting angry at Brody for his desire to pack up every single Paw Patrol toy in our house to carry in his own little "pack pack" and I was upset at Elle for needing to wear every bracelet she owns, along with earrings and bows, and of course, needing her baby and all its accessories in her own "pack pack" too. I was running around frantic and yelling at my kids for doing absolutely nothing wrong. I was upset at them for being kids, for the things that would normally make me smile. 

10- I remember that it's okay if my day doesn't go perfectly because how boring would life be without the little tumbles and glitches? I'm doing my best and that's good enough for me. 

I am in charge of my own success, and for now, I am in charge of the structure and happiness of my children. It's important that I strive to be the best version of myself and not the best version of what somewhat else wants me to be. 

Live a life that you are proud of, live a life that makes YOU happy. Wake up each day with a new appreciation for life and all that it entails. Find a desire to do be a little better than you were the day before. Love life, love others, and most importantly, love YOURSELF.