Since becoming parents, it's been difficult to make it to church every week and when we do, we rarely make it for all 3 hours. My time at church is spent chasing my toddler up and down the hallways, getting out, putting away, and then re-getting out toys, books and snacks, changing poopy diapers or cleaning up the spit up from kids clothes and my own, sitting in the mothers room nursing baby Elle, or standing outside of the nursery room door, checking on Brody to make sure he's okay. My mind seems everywhere, except where it should be-- focusing on the lessons and talks and trying to feel the spirit. I honestly can't remember the last time I was completely invested in a sacrament talk. On a rare occasion, I'm able to attend my Relief Society meeting with a sleeping baby Elle bundled in my arms. On these rare occasions, I'm able to take in a precious, invaluable lesson.
Now let me add to this equation that most of my life I've been inactive; that is until about 5 years ago. That's when my world changed and the gospel became an essential part of my life. It became the core of my universe and the compass in which I directed my life and the person I wanted to be. I had finally developed a testimony of the gospel for myself, which led to my decision to enter the temple on my own. But, even after receiving my endowments and five years of actively attending church, somehow I don't feel prepared to preach the gospel to others. I feel like the amount of knowledge I've learned in five years is so insignificant and minuscule to what my friends and others have learned in a lifetime. And yet, I've been asked to prepare a talk for sacrament meeting. So, I am sitting here feeling unprepared, nervous, and in many ways insignificant. What could I possibly say to a room full of active members of the LDS church that they haven't already heard or that they wouldn't know better themselves?
To sum up this post...
Now that I'm an active member and I'm not sick/pregnant/or otherwise incapable of speaking in church--my time has come.
Pray for me that I don't throw up on my bishop or pass out at the pulpit! ;)
Prayers for you - I know you'll do great though!
ReplyDeleteGiving a talk in church is so scary, but maybe you have an upperhand here since most of us have the same old story and yours is different! Just get personal and tell how you came to have a testimony for yourself. The youth especially will be able ton relate as they are all probably still trying to get testimonies, but I'm sure all the adults will be touched too because even this blog post touched me! You will do great!
ReplyDeleteYou will do a GREAT job!!! Even though you are involved with your children at church, and don't feel you are getting anything out of it because you are preoccupied...you are where you should be! Your children are where they should be!!! The Lord will bless you for your efforts!
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